Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
