do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
