Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
