So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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