if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
