Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Two words: blizzard sex
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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