I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
