Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize