you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He better not be in your backpack
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
