So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
