idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
