I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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