??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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