I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
