if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
