There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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