she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
