She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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