Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize