Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Too much gin, very little bucket
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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