Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
