I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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