I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
