Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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