I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
