so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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