theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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