legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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