I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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