I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
