i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
