Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
