Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
