So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
