I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
