i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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