11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
