DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
