I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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