I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize