Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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