Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
