I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
