what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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