Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
