How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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