Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
