i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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