Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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