mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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