I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
