Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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