Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
