I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
