he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
