Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
