Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize