the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
