haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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