Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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